Pitch to Production 1 [research]

A few years ago I spent time with some Gunbunnies (army slang for women in artillery regiments) doing research for a possible BBC series, but I never got the chance to use it. As part of the work I did towards the series, I created a set of character notes, inspired by some of the women I’d met, and written up in the form of interviews with a group of possible new recruits.  When I was asked to pitch a story for a ITV’s Blue Murder, it was these women I started thinking about.

PATTERSON, Janine

AGE 21yrs 8m   HEIGHT 5’3”   WEIGHT 137lbs

DIST. MARKS     tattoos on both breasts, buttocks, forearms

BIRTHPLACE     Lewisham, South London

FAMILY BACKGROUND     father a roadie, no longer connected with the family; mother unemployed; half-sister, Rowan [b. 1981], half-brother, Anthony [b. 1983]

EDUCATION     Ladywell Green Primary School, 1984-89; Catford School, 1989-91 [permanently excluded]; Visiting Teacher Service, 1991-4. No academic qualifications.

OTHER QUALS     none

___________________________

 

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

 

What have you been doing since your education ended?

What education? When I was fifteen I pissed off up to Manchester. My cow of a mother wanted shot of me anyway. I’ve been in loads of squats and done a few jobs. Nothing for long and nothing legal, apart from a couple of pubs. I’ve been busted a couple of times, criminal damage mostly, but the worst I got was community service. I shared a proper flat with some mates once, but they kicked me out. Now I’m in bed and breakfast, and it’s pretty crap but better than the Y.

Do you have any religious or other beliefs?

No. Yeah! I believe anyone who fucks with me is going to pay for it.

 

What about hobbies, or other leisure activities?

[shrugs] Mountain climbing, knitting… taking the piss out of stupid questions. [pause] I play darts at the pub sometimes.

 

Do you belong to any clubs or other organisations?

Very funny.

 

What do you think are your best qualities?

Not thinking about it first.

 

What do you think are your worst failings?

Same.

 

Why did you decide to join the British Army?

If I get busted for anything in the next two years I’m going down, that’s what the magistrate said. Miss Chapman from the social centre said I’d better find something to do that wasn’t trouble, and the Army might have me. I don’t give a toss if the Army won’t have me, because I could handle it inside, even if I did go home and fuck up and get grassed up again. If I could choose I’d rather be a bodyguard or something, but squaddie is alright, the kind of person with mates to back her up if someone wants trouble.

 

What do think will make you a good soldier?

Good training. And this. [holds up fist]

 

How do you see your life five years from now?

I’ll either be a squaddie or dead or back on the street. I’ll stay in Manc though, and London can fuck off. If I go there it’ll be to sort out a few old scores. If I’m a squaddie, I’ll make them send me to America.

 

What do you think of your fellow recruits?

Dunno… nothing… haven’t talked to them yet. That black one looks like a smug cow.

 

What’s your secret?

I don’t know my own temper. I kick off and down they go. I could’ve killed someone already for all I know. When I do they’ll put me away. Nothing else scares me, nor anyone.

  • •••

 

 

CAMPBELL, Melody Anne

 

AGE 22yrs 2m   HEIGHT 5’11”   WEIGHT 141lbs

DIST. MARKS     none

BIRTHPLACE     Birmingham, England

FAMILY BACKGROUND     father a railway worker, mother a nurse, both parents second generation Trinidadians. Fourth of six children. Childhood homes in Handsworth, Aston, Solihull [all Greater Birmingham].

EDUCATION     St.Thomas Rd Junior School, Aston; The John Shepherd School, Aston [1989-1994]; Paxham College [1994-96]. 8 GCSEs; A/S level, General Studies (C), 1996; A level, Business Studies [C], 1996.

OTHER QUALS:     Trainee Management Diploma, Sportschick Leisurewear plc; British AAA Full Coaching Badge

___________________________

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

 

What have you been doing since your education ended?

I started out behind the counter at the Post Office, when I first left school, but I only stayed about a year. I thought it meant a guaranteed future, but I soon lost faith in that, and when a job came up with Sportschick I was glad to take it, especially since it was sports related. I was promoted from sales assistant about a year ago and I’ve been an assistant manager ever since.   But I wouldn’t say my education has ended.

 

Any religion or other beliefs?

Jesus is number one in my life. I go to the Solihull Tabernacle Pentecostal Church every Sunday, and when I’m away I find a place to give thanks.

 

What about hobbies, or other leisure activities?

I’m sports mad. I’m into swimming, basketball and kick boxing, but my real thing’s middle distance running – 800 and 1500. I’ve represented England at junior, youth and B international level, so I’ve travelled a lot for tournaments, not just all over Britain, but to Los Angeles and lots of European cities. That’s been really fantastic, a real chance to find out about other cultures and test yourself against the best. When I’m at home I also have a busy social life!

 

Do you belong to any clubs or other organisations?

I’ve been running with Birmingham Harriers Athletics Club, as a junior and full member, since 1991. I’m a member of my Tabernacle council, and I belong to the Black Sportswomen’s Association.

 

What do you think are your best qualities?

When I believe in what I’m doing, I can be really well-motivated and well-focused, you need that to make it work in track and field. But you have to be humble too, so I always try and improve, whether it’s my performance or my character. I know I’m lucky with what God’s given me, and I think that’s important, keeps my attitude right. Attitude is what it comes down to, and I think attitude is probably my real strength.

 

What do you think are your worst failings?

Sometimes I forget to believe in myself, but I think that happens to most athletes some times. I get angry too, mostly when I think people aren’t trying. I don’t care if it’s the Olympic Games or the washing up, you’ve just got to do your best. I know that all kinds of sad reasons can stop people seeing things right, and I shouldn’t get angry. But sometimes I do, and I hate that.

 

Why did you decide to join the British Army?

I need a job that challenges me, but for now everything’s focused on my running, so I also need a job that encourages that. The Army will support my running as part of the job, and teach me skills that’ll hopefully be useful at a later stage in my life. The most important thing for me was that my family thinks it’s a good idea. My Dad says discipline, fitness and healthy competition all bring us closer to Jesus, and that every black person has to fight against intolerance. When I’m a soldier I’ll be doing that every day of my life. My Mum’s a bit worried about the discipline and that I’ll meet a lot of what she calls problem people – she means racists really – but I’ve been around a bit more than she knows, and I know I’ll be OK with that.

 

What do think will make you a good soldier?

Right now, I don’t know what it takes to be a good soldier, but I’m ready to learn, and I think that’s the most important thing right now.

 

How do you see your life five years from now?

Easy! I’ll be lining up for the final of the European 800 metres, waving to Mum and Dad in the crowd! Seriously though, that’s what I want, but if it works out differently – if I get injured or I’m not good enough – I can deal with it. I’m young and strong with people that love me, so if I’m not running I want to be doing something to pay a bit back. I might be married in five years, but I won’t be thinking about kids until after I’ve finished top level track, or whatever else I’m going for. I was engaged to Michael for nearly a year, but I think he wanted a good wife who ran a bit, not a soldier with a serious eye on gold, and I couldn’t give him that. I also hope to have a stripe or three on the arm of my uniform.

 

What do you think of your fellow recruits?

Nice. One or two have got that look that says ‘I’m lost’, you know, nothing to believe in. I think I’ll get on all right with them though.

 

What’s your secret?

I’m not normally that kind of person, but I have told a lie recently. I promised Mum and Dad I’d never see Michael again – we used to out together – but he made me tell him where I was going, and I ended up agreeing to let him come and see me once I’m into training. I didn’t mean to, but he was so confused and hurt, saying all sorts of crazy stuff.   I will see him, because I know he’ll feel different once he sees how happy I am.   I’m the one that sees the good in Michael… I think God wants me to help him.

 

  • •••

 

 

KERR, Josephine

 

AGE 18yrs 8m   HEIGHT 5’8”   WEIGHT 117lbs

DIST. MARKS     piercings through nose, ears, eyebrows and tongue

BIRTHPLACE     Portsmouth, England

FAMILY BACKGROUND     father Irish, in prison 1988-92 [GBH], 1993-98 [armed robbery]; mother local, full-time office cleaner; parents divorced 1996; half-sister, Caroline [b.1997].

EDUCATION     Gosport Road First and Middle Schools, Portsmouth, 1987-1994; City High School, 1994-98. GCSEs English [A], Maths [D] +7 failed, 1998

OTHER QUALS     none

___________________________

 

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

 

What have you been doing since your education ended?

Living with my Mum and Billy, her oily wanker of a boyfriend. You mean jobs? Hard to say, I slept through most of them. Okay, there was the bread factory, and the DIY superstore,and the fish packer’s… I liked the box factory best. My job was putting the boxes in boxes, and I reckon some poor sod somewhere was busy putting my boxes in boxes. I had to leave, all that excitement and responsibility was doing my head in. These days I’m filling in behind the bar at the Three Tuns, which would be OK if I didn’t keep drinking the wages.

Any religion or other beliefs?

No ta.

What about hobbies, or other leisure activities?

I used to a lot of school sport. I was good at netball and I used to do a bit of running. Nowadays I just go clubbing… when I can afford it.

Do you belong to any clubs or other organisations?

What? Young Tories or something? Yeah, right! I used to be in the Sea Scouts ‘til a couple of years ago. It was a good crack, and we had some laughs, but I left after some spotty cadet leader said I nicked his money. I didn’t, and I wouldn’t give him a blow job either.

What do you think are your best qualities?

I’m pretty quick, and OK with most people. Then again, how should I know?

What do you think are your worst failings?

I’d say being mouthy probably gets me in the most trouble. That and getting seriously off my face sometimes.

Why did you decide to join the British Army?

To get the fuck out of Pompey! The town’s crap, and the jobs are the same. So was school. Could do better… who needs it when you can be out having it large? Most of my mates have pissed off to college somewhere or they’re turning into junior suits.   Anyway, the Army says it’ll take me away and teach me some useful stuff, so here I am. I can handle myself OK too, and at least it’s not the effing Navy.

What do you think will make you a good soldier?

I’ve got a load of wicked garage twelves on minidisc to keep the troops happy. [long pause]   I can fit in most places.

How do you see your life five years from now?

From a distance? I dunno, I suppose if I make it through this I’ll be travelling the world making sure it behaves itself. I won’t be spreading my butt behind a desk, thanks very much. Otherwise I don’t really give a toss, except that if I’m a full-on soldier I’ll have made sure Mum’s got rid of that ponce Billy. I won’t be married and I’m not about to start dropping sprogs. Five years from now I’ll be right in the middle of my life, so I don’t want any family bollocks screwing it up.

What do you think of your fellow recruits?

Bunch of brain dead saddoes. Nah, they seemed alright.   I talked to that ex-copper – Irish, yeah? – she seemed well intense. Good laugh though.

 

What’s your secret?

You mean like how many pills and how much skunk? D’you want my dealer’s name and address? Well it’s Tony, and he lives in Downing Street… [pause]   Mum’s always been shit with men. Stupid. [pause] I was fifteen when one of them raped me. Pete his name was, stinking alkie. Mum kicked him out after I told her. I’m not sure she believed it was him, though. Never found out I was pregnant till it was too late to do anything about it. Mum said we had to move. When I had the baby she told everyone it was hers. [shrugs] Mum likes looking after her, and I’m bugger all good at it. But I’m going back to get her one day, before she’s old enough to get the same treatment I did.

 

  • •••

 

DOOHAN, Ailleen Jane

 

AGE 25yrs 6m   HEIGHT 5’5”   WEIGHT 112lbs

DIST. MARKS     scar on left cheek, multiple scars on left thigh

BIRTHPLACE     Newry, Co. Down, NI

FAMILY BACKGROUND     father RUC officer, killed on duty 1984; mother librarian; one brother, Vincent [b. 1977].

EDUCATION     Newry Junior and High Schools, 1979-93. 7 GCSEs, 1991; A Level, Social Studies [B], 1993

OTHER QUALS     Full driving licence, 1992, no endorsements; RUC advanced driving diploma, 1997; RUC firearms diploma [use and maintenance], 1998; RUC sergeants’ examination, 1999.

___________________________

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

 

What have you been doing since your education ended?

I signed up for the RUC more or less straight out of school, just before Christmas 1993. I served in Newry for the next six years or so, though I was off sick for six months in 1996 because of wounds from a bomb blast. I got commendations for bravery in 1995 and 1996, and I was promoted to sergeant late in 1999. That’s when I transferred to Belfast, working around the Falls Road, right at the heart of things. I think it was hard for my mother, me leaving, but I liked Belfast and I’d still be there if the politicians hadn’t sold the service out from under us. I wouldn’t say I left the RUC, I’d say it left me.

 

Any religion or other beliefs?

[smiles] That’s a joke, is it?

 

What about hobbies, or other leisure activities?

I like shooting, I’ve been in the odd competition – I’m not bad at it.   I read quite a lot of history in my spare time, Irish history of course. And I knit. Sounds boring, but it isn’t. I design things, then I knit them. It’s what I do to relax.. [grins] I get real peace out of knitting.

 

Do you belong to any clubs or other organisations?

I was an associate member of the The Ancient and Worshipful Order of Orangemen, Newry Chapter and a local representative for the Ulster Police Federation, but I resigned from both recently.

 

What do you think are your best qualities?

I relate to people well enough, and I can do most things OK. I don’t mind showing that I care about what I’m doing. I’m happiest when I’m working like a dog. I’ve been commended as a good team leader. I’m a survivor, I think I’ve proved that.

 

What do you think are your worst failings?

Getting angry about things I can’t change. I should smoke less.

 

Why did you decide to join the British Army?

That’s a good question. [pause] OK. I loved my father. I miss him still, and I believe in what he tried to do with his life. You’ve got to have law, and someone has to stand up and make people respect it. Ever since I can remember I’ve wanted to be in the RUC, so once I got there I was happy as Larry for a while. But London’s done for us, so now I’m looking for a new direction. It just seemed to me that I’d the right kind of skills for the Army.

 

What do think will make you a good soldier?

[grins] I think living your whole life in a war zone helps? What do you think?

 

How do you see your life five years from now?

I’ll hope to have some good memories and plenty to look forward to. I’ll expect to have picked up some completely new skills, and I’d like to be serving in some active field capacity. I’d like to make NCO, I think I’ve got the right temparament for it. Lovers and suchlike? No idea… and if I did I wouldn’t talk about it.

What do you think of your fellow recruits?

They’re friendly enough, most of them. Some of them seem like the right stuff. But they’re kids mostly, and with a lot to learn.

What’s your secret?

I killed a man in Newry. Pulled the trigger when I didn’t have to, just to rid the world of him. He was younger than me, but he was a killer, believe me. I’d do the same again, but sometimes… . well anyway, that’s all.

  • •••

 

SPOONER, Sandra Mary

 

AGE 20yrs 5m   HEIGHT 5’7”   WEIGHT 162lbs

DIST. MARKS     none

BIRTHPLACE     Cromer, Norfolk

FAMILY BACKGROUND     parents co-owners of small, third generation family farm near Geist, Norfolk; brother David [b.1976]; resident with family to date.

EDUCATION     Candford First and Middle Schools, 1984-92; Geist High School, 1992-96; GCSEs Art [D], Home Economics [D], 1996

OTHER QUALS     full driving licence since 07/97, no endorsements

___________________________

 

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

 

What have you been doing since your education ended?

I’ve served on the produce stall by the main road. I’ve been doing that since I was little, and working on the farm in the holidays since I was fifteen. Since I left school that’s what I’ve been doing, sometimes on the tractor. I’ve been to London, though.

Any religion or other beliefs?

I do believe in God.

What about hobbies, or other leisure activities?

I like walking, and I used to like riding.

Do you belong to any clubs or other organisations?

I used to be in the Girl Guides. I joined Elmham Riding Club but it was too expensive.

What do you think are your best qualities?

I’m honest. I do what’s asked of me and I give a good day’s work. I can also cook quite well. I’m good with animals, especially dogs and horses.

What do you think are your worst failings?

Not paying proper attention sometimes and forgetting things.

Why did you decide to join the British Army?

I wanted to work on the farm, but Dad can’t afford to employ me and the Army is a good place for someone who likes the outdoor life like me. They say the Army teaches you what’s what, and that’d be good. And I’d enjoy seeing interesting places and meeting people.

 

What do think will make you a good soldier?

I’m happy doing as I’m told. I like getting up early. I’m quite strong and fit.

 

How do you see your life five years from now?

I’d like to be a good soldier, with good mates and an interesting life. I’d like to get some money for Mum and Dad, so we can keep the farm.

 

 

What do you think of your fellow recruits?

I don’t know. They look okay.

What’s your secret?

This university student, Katie, came to the farm for a study about barn owls. I liked her. A lot, like a crush. She kissed me before she went. I wanted her to, and I liked it. Now she’s gone and I miss her.

  • •••

OLIVER, Elizabeth Janis

 

AGE 19yrs 11m   HEIGHT 5’6”   WEIGHT 115lbs

DIST. MARKS     self harming scars on forearm and neck

BIRTHPLACE     Gloucester, England

FAMILY BACKGROUND     father druid, mother faith healer; both self-proclaimed ‘new age travellers’; one sister, Hope [b. 1993].

EDUCATION     no formal education to 1997; St Ives High School, Cornwall, 1997; no academic qualifications.

OTHER QUALS     none

___________________________

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

 

What have you been doing since your education ended?

I’ve been on the road all my life. I never went to school. But I can read and write and handle figures OK, and I can put up a tepee in a force eight, feed fifty people on less than a tenner, stuff like that. I’ve been doing car mechanics for years too, for everyone really, but I’ve only worked on old heaps. That’s been the trouble, I’ve been stuck in the travellers’ stupid revolution and everything’s out of date.

Any religion or other beliefs?

Definitely not.

 

What about hobbies, or other leisure activities?

Not really. Travellers don’t get to do that kind of thing. I can play a fiddle quite well. And guitar, but I haven’t got one.

 

Do you belong to any clubs or other organisations?

[smiles] All organisation is a form of social control, used by the violent to oppress the peaceful. Didn’t you know that?

 

What do you think are your best qualities?

I’m good at organising dipsticks. I mean it, you try putting on a free dance festival with nothing but stoned OAPs for help. I’m ready for just about anything. And I smell alright when I haven’t washed for a week.

 

What do you think are your worst failings?

Disgust. Intolerance.   Don’t ask me, I’ve had nothing but meaningless criticism for years.

 

Why did you decide to join the British Army?

I’ve wanted to be a soldier since I was a kid. I dunno why, I just have. Tom and Lily – that’s my folks – think I’m doing it as a way of rejecting them. Maybe I am, I dunno. But I’ve always had it in my head.   I like the idea of wearing a uniform and having a rank, and knowing what’s going on. The opposite to the travellers’ life.

 

What do think will make you a good soldier?

Haven’t a clue. Ask me later.

 

How do you see your life five years from now?

Boot polishing, rifle cleaning, squarebashing, peacekeeping and promoting Britain’s role as a global force for stability, in line with its long-standing international reputation for fair play and decency. [laughs] Oh I don’t know, just normal.

What do you think of your fellow recruits?

Yeah alright, mostly.   Not so sure about the hard-looking one with the tattoos, I met a few like her in Camden.

 

What’s your secret?

[laughs] I have absolutely no secrets, and I never lie.

  • •••

 

HOPKIRK, Susan Marjory

 

AGE 28yrs 9m   HEIGHT 5’6”   WEIGHT 115lbs

DIST. MARKS     none

BIRTHPLACE     Billingham, North Yorks

FAMILY BACKGROUND     father insurance salesman [d. 1996], mother secretary [ret’d]; four older brothers – Alan [b.1953], Geoffrey, John [twins, b. 1955], Stephen [b 1958].

EDUCATION     Crofton First and Middle Schools, 1976-84; Bonfield School Middlesbrough, 1984-88; 6 O Levels, 1988.

OTHER QUALS     full driving licence since 05/90, two endorsements [1991, 1993]; BSA lifeguard badge, 1991.

___________________________

 

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

 

What have you been doing since your education ended?

Living life to the full, I’d say.   I landed a job at the leisure centre in Boro almost straight from school, and I’m still there. Nowadays I pretty much run the pool complex, but before that I was in charge of the gym equipment. I did have a go at working in Spain but I got homesick… [grins] and anyway I’d barely got started on the male population of Teesside… so I came home. That’s it really. No strings attached.

Do you have any religious or other beliefs?

Not bothered either way.

 

What about hobbies, or other leisure activities?

I like to keep my body looking good. I use the gym and the pool a lot, and I pay a lot of attention to clothes and suchlike. To be honest, my real hobby’s men.   I love men, all shapes and sizes. I can pick them too.

 

Do you belong to any clubs or other organisations?

Outside the leisure centre? Only the video club, and Middlesbrough supporters club. I go and watch whenever I can, it’s a single girl’s dream down there!

 

What do you think are your best qualities?

I don’t play games. With people, I mean. Life’s a lot less complicated if you’re straight with people from the start, so I try to be. And I’m a solid hard worker.

 

What do you think are your worst failings?

I show off sometimes, usually when I’m nervous about something. Maybe I’m a bit aimless, happy just being me and not thinking ahead. But I’m doing something about that.

 

Why did you decide to join the British Army?

Like I said, I’ve been swanning along happily, but time’s passing. It’s all very well now, I’ve got the looks and the energy, but it’ll be downhill all the way in a few years time. Settling for a husband and kids would drive me mad in no time and be no good for anyone, so I felt I had to look for a future past 35.   I’ve always kept myself fit, and the Army seemed like a pretty good job… and let’s face it, there’s an awful lot of men in the British Army…

 

What do think will make you a good soldier?

I’m not lazy, and I’ll give it my best. I might be a bit older and wiser than some of the others.

 

How do you see your life five years from now?

Just the way it is now, only in uniform.

 

What do you think of your fellow recruits?

I was expecting more in the way of, you know, real hard cases. Like that Janine.     I had a chat with the lass that calls herself Joker.   [smiles]   Not a lot of competition for the real men, is there?

 

What’s your secret?

I know I look younger, but I lied about my age. I’m really thirty-two, but they’d never’ve let me in. What have I got to lose? They can only kick me out.

  • •••